


Red Sky at Morning

by thewalrus_said



Category: Twelfth Night - Shakespeare
Genre: F/M, Genderfluid Character, M/M, Minor Character Death, Original Character(s), Unofficial Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:16:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6994714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewalrus_said/pseuds/thewalrus_said
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The courthouse.</p>
<p>Enter GUARDS, ANTONIO, and JUDGE.</p>
<p>Judge: The court has reached a decision. The sailor Antonio will stand trial for the crimes of which he is accused. The petition to release him from the accusations due to time passed is not granted. Until such time as his case can be heard, he will be kept under guard in the city prison, at the Duke’s pleasure. Take him away.</p>
<p>Exeunt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Sky at Morning

**Author's Note:**

> A year ago, I took a playwriting course my final semester of college, and also lit a student production of Twelfth Night. I discovered that no one had written a sequel called "Malvolio's Revenge," and then this happened.
> 
> For more information on the things in the Additional Tags, see the end notes.

Prologue

_ The courthouse. _

 

_ Enter GUARDS, ANTONIO, and JUDGE. _

 

Judge: The court has reached a decision. The sailor Antonio will stand trial for the crimes of which he is accused. The petition to release him from the accusations due to time passed is not granted. Until such time as his case can be heard, he will be kept under guard in the city prison, at the Duke’s pleasure. Take him away.

 

_ Exeunt. _

 

\------

_ The public square. _

 

_ Enter SEBASTIAN, OLIVIA, VIOLA, and ORSINO. _

 

Sebastian: I will never forgive you for this, Orsino.

 

Orsino: It is not for you to judge my actions, Sebastian, nor for you to pardon criminals in my city. You are my brother by law, but I will not allow this insolence to go on.

 

Olivia: Peace, my love -

 

Sebastian: You would call me brother and insolent in the same breath? You know nothing of family feeling. Were you not wed to my sister, I would say you know nothing of feeling at all.

 

Orsino: You go too far.

 

Sebastian: I have not gone far enough.

 

_ SEBASTIAN punches ORSINO. _

 

Viola: Enough! Calm yourself, brother, or I will call the guards myself.

 

Sebastian: Do! Call them! Send me to prison, let me dwell near to Antonio again. He is the only honest man in this city.

 

Olivia: And what shall I do, my love, with you in prison? Calm yourself, for my sake if not your own. We will not give up, but I would not have you taken from me as Antonio has been taken from you.

 

Sebastian: For you, I will calm myself. But do not think this is finished, Orsino. You are near to making yourself another enemy.

 

_ Exeunt. _

 

\-----

_ The shipyard. _

 

_ Enter MALVOLIO. _

 

Malvolio: Illyria. Well do I remember your sights and smells - better than I thought I would. It feels as though years have passed since last I lived here, though it has only been a matter of months. Have you missed me, Illyria? Have you missed me as I have missed you?

 

_ Enter LADY JULIA. _

 

Lady Julia: Ah, there you are. Our luggage is being unloaded - where shall I tell the men to take it?

 

Malvolio: To the Elephant. I wrote ahead, they should have a room prepared for us. Tell them you are Lady Littlebury and everything should be already taken care of.

 

Lady Julia: Are you not coming?

 

Malvolio: I will follow you. Go now, before you lose the light.

 

Lady Julia: Don’t stay out too late.

 

_ Exit LADY JULIA. _

 

Malvolio: There goes my lady wife. I found her wasting away on an island off the coast, spoiling for too much money and not enough entertainment. I fancy I have helped her with both since we met. Her money has paid for our travels and lodging, and I provide her with a channel for her energies. My revenge has become hers as well, but I find that the longer I am with her, the less I burn for vengeance. The fool has been turned away from my lady’s door, a fate worse than death for such a man, and Fabian has fled in fear of my retribution. All that is left are two; at times it hardly seems worth the trouble. And more than that, I worry for the fate of my marriage, should my goals be achieved. Do I have it in me to see this through, at the cost of what happiness I have been able to find? What was that sound? A voice, and one I know well. One I know all too well.

 

_ MALVOLIO hides. _

 

_ Enter FESTE and SIR TOBY. _

 

Feste:  _...As blooms the reddest rose of spring. _

 

Sir Toby: A wonderful tune, fool, but I wonder if it is not too melancholy for this fine weather.

 

Feste: Why, you requested the song yourself, good sir.

 

Sir Toby: You’ve sung it many a time, ‘tis true, but you have never done it so glumly! I required cheering up, not dragging down.

 

Feste: Methinks it is not the song that has changed, sir, but the listener’s ears.

 

Sir Toby: How so?

 

Feste: Why, you are married now! Songs of hope and young love cannot but remind the married man of what once was, and the past cannot help but outshine the present.

 

Sir Toby: Perhaps you are right, good fool. Sing me a funeral dirge, and we shall test the theory.

 

Feste:  _ Alas, the stormclouds gather, and rain begins to fall... _

 

_ Exeunt SIR TOBY and FESTE. _

 

_ Malvolio emerges from his hiding place. _

 

Malvolio: A fortunate occurrence - this sight has stiffened my resolve. The hate which I thought was waning in my chest has burst back into full flame. News has come to me, during my exile, of certain inquiries about me that were made by those who just passed through. They search for me, out of fear of what I might say to those in power. They do not know how soon they will find me.

 

_ Exit MALVOLIO. _

 

\-----

_ SEBASTIAN and OLIVIA’s house _

 

_ Enter SEBASTIAN and CESARIO _

 

Sebastian: I must confess, I was relieved to see you this morning, Cesario.

 

Cesario: I’m glad to hear it. May I ask why?

 

Sebastian: There are some things a man can’t discuss with his sister, you know.

 

Cesario: I am your sister.

 

Sebastian: No, of course. What I mean is, there are some things a man can’t discuss with his lady sister.

 

Cesario: And a lord sister is easier to speak to, then?

 

Sebastian: So it would seem.

 

Cesario: What do you have to speak about, then, to your lord sister? He is here to listen.

 

Sebastian: Not a word to my wife. You must promise me, Cesario.

 

Cesario: On my heart. Speak, brother, you begin to worry me.

 

Sebastian: I find I cannot sleep at night.

 

Cesario: Is that all? Surely the lady Olivia knows this already.

 

Sebastian: She sleeps well - I envy her her peace in slumber. I wake cold in the night and slip from bed, and she stirs not at all. Three weeks I have paced the night through, and she has only woken once, and then her sleep was lightened by a touch of illness. I say again, I envy her.

 

Cesario: What pulls my brother from his rest? Do you need a doctor?

 

Sebastian: No, no doctor. He cannot cure what ails me. Only your lord husband can, I fear.

 

Cesario: I think I begin to take your meaning.

 

Sebastian: Do you?

 

Cesario: I find on nights when he comes to bed late, or not at all, kept awake in the business of governing Illyria, my own sleep is troubled. I feel his absence, and it keeps me from peace.

 

Sebastian: Just so. But my lady wife is never from our bed at night.

 

Cesario: Tell me who is missing from your bed.

 

Sebastian: I thought you already knew my meaning.

 

Cesario: Speak it anyway. Take it from one who knows, brother mine - the confession to one’s own self is the hardest part. The rest comes easier than you will expect.

 

Sebastian: In those three months between our separation and reunion, I spent every hour with Antonio. I clung to him like a life-giver, a solid shelter in a storm, and he was always within arms’ reach. Not even our nights were spent in separate rooms, or separate beds. I can see the question in your eyes, my sister. There were times when I thought - but he held himself aloof in that one regard only, and his disinterest put it from my mind as well. But I suffered nightmares, salt water clogging my throat and your dying screams echoing in my ears, and I would wake to his arms around me. Eventually the dreams lessened, I am convinced due to his presence at my back, keeping them at bay.

 

Cesario: I too had such dreams. They are returning, then, in Antonio’s absence?

 

Sebastian: No, it is more - I used to lull myself to sleep by the rhythm of his breaths, calming me down from my fear, and I find it difficult to rest without the sound. I cannot feel him behind me, and so the bed feels cold despite Olivia’s presence. And when I do wake from drowning, I have nothing to draw me back to life. I have not slept a full night through in all my time in Illyria.

 

Cesario: And Orsino is the only one who could give him back to you.

 

Sebastian: And he refuses. I admire his resolve, if nothing else. You are right, Cesario. Nothing has changed, but I feel my heart lifted slightly by the telling of it.

 

Cesario: What will you do now?

 

Sebastian: I have no idea. I want to do any number of things. I want to thrash your husband to within an inch of his life - I apologize for the sentiment, but I feel incurably honest at the moment. I want to pull the prison down brick by brick and drag Antonio home with me and tell him under no circumstances is he ever to leave again. I want to tell my wife she has married a man whose heart she has won but shares with another. I want to do every selfish thought that occurs to me.

 

Cesario: Love makes us selfish. And I cannot advocate the beating of my husband, nor the destruction of Illyria’s public buildings, but not all of your desires are out of the realm of possibility.

 

Sebastian: And what should I tell my wife? That though I love her dearly, I am not satisfied with our marriage, and wish to bring another man in as spouse?

 

Cesario: Perhaps not phrased so crudely, but what is the harm? It is plain for everyone to see that you are unhappy, and that your unhappiness is caused by Antonio’s imprisonment. Your news may not be as surprising to her as you think. She is a clever woman.

 

Sebastian: Perhaps. Perhaps Olivia will be as accepting as your Orsino was of you, and it will all work out for the best.

 

Cesario: I have hope that it will.

 

Sebastian: And perhaps it will not, and I will have to watch Antonio hang.

 

Cesario: You must believe that I am doing all I can to prevent that from happening.

 

Sebastian: I know, Cesario. I cannot say how much I appreciate it.

 

_ Exeunt. _

 

\-----

_ A confessional chamber in the prison. _

 

_ Enter ANTONIO into one half, handcuffed but alone. _

 

_ Enter OLIVIA, dressed in a priest’s robe. She covers her face with the hood and enters the other half. _

 

Antonio: Bless me, father, for I have sinned.

 

Olivia: Speak, my son.

 

Antonio: I am guilty of treason, father, and would face my punishment better with assurance that God at least forgives me.

 

Olivia: Why should God forgive treason?

 

Antonio: It was done in the service of love.

 

Olivia: Make your confession, my son. God hears all.

 

Antonio: I loved a man once, father, more than I thought it was possible to love anyone save the Father of All. Three years we spent together, and for three years we were happy together, though Illyria herself was declining. The wars began then. He was put in command of the ship upon which I made my living, and our dissatisfaction with our homeland had grown so great that when he asked me to help him turn our ship against Illyria and her governor, I agreed. He was killed in the battle, and I have lived in exile ever since.

 

Olivia: How came you back to Illyria’s shores, which you so hated?

 

Antonio: A shipwreck brought me a friend some months ago. I had thought never to feel love again, had resigned myself to it as part of my penance, but I did. He is hotheaded, and selfish at times, and unbearably kind at others. He lied to me for three months, and I knew it, and I loved him for it, for I could not seek the affections of a wholly honest man. He had heard of the Duke Orsino from his father, and came to Illyria to see him. My judgement was matched by my love, and I followed him.

 

Olivia: Have you acted upon this new love, my son?

 

Antonio: I have not. Part of my penance is abstinence, and he is recently married besides.

 

Olivia: What penance is this of which you speak?

 

Antonio: A self-imposed one, father. I live alone, or did until God threw a companion into my path, and I have disavowed all happiness that can be attained by my own actions, rather than being innate. And until now, I have not revealed to anyone that I am not solely to blame for what happened upon our ship five years ago.

 

Olivia: As penance?

 

Antonio: Revealing it may lessen my sentence in a judge’s eyes, but I am guilty of treason, and would face my punishment fully, if it must be faced. I would not have his memory tarnished besides, though if he were here, he would shout it in the streets to save me.

 

Olivia: Why do you now unburden yourself?

 

Antonio: My death is upon me. It is inescapable, sworn as I am to silence. I would unburden myself to God, that I may face it without fear.

 

Olivia: God sees all, my child. He sees the repentance in your heart, and your love as well. He forgives you your sins, where the laws of man may not. Pray to Him nightly, remain honest, and be at peace.

 

Antonio: Thank you, father. Thank you.

 

_ Exit ANTONIO. _

 

_ Exit OLIVIA. _

 

\-----

_ SEBASTIAN and OLIVIA’s house. _

 

_ Enter SEBASTIAN and OLIVIA. _

 

Sebastian: Has the Duke said anything more to you?

 

Olivia: Nothing but pleas for me to keep you in check.

 

Sebastian: Daily I go to the prison, but I am denied entrance. I cannot even see him!

 

Olivia: I understand -

 

Sebastian: There is no way you could. This man saved my life - more than that, he saved my soul.

 

Olivia: And in doing so, he saved mine, for half of myself was lost in that storm before I ever knew it existed.

 

_ Enter MARIA. _

 

Olivia: Yes, Maria, what is it?

 

Maria: The gentleman Cesario - that is to say, my lord’s sister has arrived.

 

Sebastian: Well, which is it? The lord or the lady?

 

Maria: In all honesty, my lord, I’m not sure.

 

Olivia: Well, whoever it is, send them in.

 

_ Exit MARIA. _

 

_ Enter VIOLA, wearing CESARIO’s clothes but with her hair down. _

 

Viola: Good afternoon, sister, and dear brother.

 

Sebastian: Ah, Viola. Good afternoon.

 

Viola: You sound surprised. I was announced, wasn’t I?

 

Olivia: Maria wasn’t sure who to announce, Viola or Cesario.

 

Viola: Oh, I’ve neglected to change, haven’t I? I thought my husband might take pleas for Antonio better from his gentleman than your sister, Sebastian.

 

Sebastian: Were you successful?

 

Viola: Not at all. He is obstinate. He refuses even to tell me the details of Antonio’s alleged crimes.

 

Sebastian: Antonio never told me either. I didn’t know of his status here until we had already arrived. The few times I’ve seen him since his arrest, he refused to tell me of the specifics.

 

Viola: We’ll find out at the trial, I suppose.

 

Sebastian: There shouldn’t be a trial. He has served his exile from Illyria, and is a hero and a good man.

 

Olivia: Good deeds may wash away the bad in the eyes of God, my love, but not in the eyes of man.

 

Sebastian: What’s good enough for God ought to be good enough for man.

 

Viola: That would equate God and man, as surely as would the other way around.

 

Olivia: Enough, please. I will not have every conversation descend into squabbling, not under my roof.

 

Sebastian: You’re right, dear one. I am sorry.

 

Viola: As am I. I came here to issue an invitation, not begin an argument. My husband and I wish the both of you to join us for dinner, Sunday after next.

 

Sebastian: And does he expect that not to start an argument?

 

Olivia: Enough. We would be delighted. Wouldn’t we, dearest?

 

Sebastian: Delighted. Of course. Yes.

 

Viola: Wonderful. I’ll convey your enthusiasm to my husband.

 

Olivia: Is that wise?

 

Viola: I make it a point not to be wise on Thursdays. Goodbye, Olivia. Goodbye, brother. Be at peace.

 

_ Exit VIOLA. _

 

Olivia: We will go, and you will be on your best behavior. You won’t get your friend out of trouble by being an ass to the man who could get him out.

 

Sebastian: I wouldn’t dream of it.

 

_ Exeunt. _

 

\-----

_ The prison, ANTONIO’s cell. _

 

_ Enter GUARD. _

 

Guard: You have a visitor.

 

Antonio: I want none. Send them away.

 

Guard: Careful with the orders, there, or someone will mistake you for your guest.

 

_ Enter ORSINO. _

 

Orsino: Leave us.

 

_ Exit GUARD. _

 

Antonio: My lord Duke.

 

Orsino: Antonio.

 

Antonio: I would offer you wine, and a chair, but I am somewhat lacking on both fronts.

 

Orsino: I would accept nothing from you.

 

Antonio: Why are you here?

 

Orsino: For weeks upon weeks, I have been plagued by one that loves you, and those that love him that loves you, each begging me to release you. They all claim that you have changed, that you are not the man you once were. That your sins have been expiated with time and good behavior. I wanted to see if it were true.

 

Antonio: It is not true.

 

Orsino: No?

 

Antonio: I am still the man I was five years ago. If given the chance, I would not change a single one of my actions that day. I regret nothing.

 

Orsino: Do you not?

 

Antonio: No, you are correct, forgive me. There is one thing I would change. The rest I would happily repeat, again and again, for the rest of my days.

 

Orsino: I am sure that will be a great comfort to my nephew’s shade.

 

Antonio: You have achieved what you came for. Leave me to my solitude.

 

Orsino: Offer me an apology and I will release you in a moment. Repent, and you need not spend another second in this purgatory.

 

Antonio: No.

 

Orsino: So be it. I’ll see to it you are brought a chair.

 

_ Exit ORSINO. _

 

Antonio: Many times while living in exile, I entertained the notion of returning to Illyria, of putting an end to the stalemate of my life and throwing myself upon Orsino’s mercy. Perhaps he has seen reason, I thought. Perhaps the dying gasps of Titus’ final moments have at last made their impression upon his mind, and he will understand and be lenient. Or perhaps he will damn the courts and put a sword through my neck himself, and I will be free of this life, this existence that I have hated for so long. It is only cowardice and shame that have kept me from sending my own soul to wherever it is bound, to Titus’ dwelling-place or the other; perhaps his mercy will finally help it on its way and I can be finished. But now I have returned, and he is determined to drag out my torment, to accuse me in the public eye and torture me to death, when I have at last found a reason to continue living. Is this your doing, Titus? Does your ghost haunt me still? Did you push Sebastian into Olivia’s arms, do you harden your uncle’s heart against me, and mine against him? Does jealousy still burn so brightly in the afterlife? Sweet Titus, I long ago forgave you your sins. Can you not forgive mine in turn?

 

\-----

_ Orsino’s courtyard. _

 

_ Enter CESARIO. _

 

_ Enter FESTE. _

 

Feste: I beg your pardon, young gentlefellow, for barging in so unannounced.

 

Cesario: Not at all. Thank you for coming so promptly.

 

Feste: No thanks, gentlefellow, no thanks. Attending the whims of gentlefolk is one of a fool’s joys.

 

Cesario: How so?

 

Feste: Why, ‘tis practically a vacation, gentlefellow. When among his own kind, a fool must draw entertainment from the air, for they know not the humor of their own state. Gentlefolk, on the other hand, provide their own entertainment, and it is down to a fool merely to observe and comment.

 

Cesario: Indeed? Do you call me foolish, then?

 

Feste: Would you call one who is sometimes one thing and sometimes another, foolish, gentlefellow?

 

Cesario: You mean, would I call a man sometimes a clown and sometimes a commentator foolish?

 

Feste: Just so.

 

Cesario: I would indeed.

 

Feste: Then you agree, such a person is foolish. It follows that one that is foolish is a fool - ergo, kind sir, you are a fool.

 

Cesario: Your logic is impeccable.

 

Feste: A foolish fellow’s logic always is.

 

Cesario: A coin for your thoughts, sir, provided by my lord for the purpose. But I have not called you here for riddles. I have a task to put to you.

 

Feste: Anything, gentlefellow, for you and your most kind and generous master.

 

Cesario: I seek information.

 

Feste: I have much at my disposal. Of what matter?

 

Cesario: The matter of warfare.

 

Feste: I recall well your professed lack of skill at such a thing. Do you seek lessons in the art?

 

Cesario: No, no. I am better served in my current profession. I wish to know of a particular naval occurrence, that took place some five years past.

 

Feste: I know already which you mean, though it falls far outside my purview of jollity and smiles. I was but a boy when the news reached Illyria of what had occurred.

 

Cesario: Gather all reports, remembrances, even the most trivial details, and the names of all survivors who yet live. Bring them to me and I’ll reward your pains greatly.

 

Feste: I live to earn such rewards. May I ask for what reward I shall be living?

 

Cesario: Here’s another piece, from my own purse, for expenses. Bring me what I want, and I shall reward you with pride of place among the entertainers at my lord’s next public entertainment.

 

Feste: Closest to the ears of his guests?

 

Cesario: Their ears and their coffers.

 

Feste: A prize worth reaching for, indeed. I shall bring you what I can find, before a fortnight passes.

 

_ Exit FESTE. _

 

Cesario: My lord is determined that he remembers rightly all that occurred on that day, and my brother will not hear a shred of evidence against his sailor, convinced as he is of the man’s innocence. Antonio himself will not speak, for reasons he keeps to himself. If everyone in Illyria will insist on operating solely on emotion, then it falls to me to seek out the facts. Someone must ferret out the truth.

 

_ Enter ORSINO. _

 

Orsino: There you are, boy. Come and comfort me, for I have had a most trying day.

 

Cesario: Tell me of it.

 

Orsino: I offered assistance to a doomed man. He would have none of it.

 

Cesario: I understand your frustration, my lord. To have a hand slapped that was offered in friendship is one of life’s greatest pains.

 

Orsino: I would hardly call my intentions friendly, I admit.

 

Cesario: Offered in aid, then. But do not vex yourself over the matter.

 

Orsino: How can I not? The man is spiteful and arrogant, and though his escape from punishment would ease the hearts of many I hold dear to me, he will not take his chance.

 

Cesario: Attempt to put yourself in this man’s position. His attitudes towards you may not seem so mysterious then.

 

Orsino: Explain.

 

Cesario: My lord, I know all too well what it is to look your own death in the face, knowing that the life you have lived is over. All that is left to a man in that moment is pride, the pride to face what comes head-on. My life was spared through the actions of another, not by my own. If I had been given the choice to save myself, rather than having been rescued, I do not believe I would have taken it.

 

Orsino: You speak sense, my boy, and I am sorry for what you have been through. But I do not have it in me to be merciful without cause. Not towards this man.

 

Cesario: That is my lord’s decision to make.

 

Orsino: You disapprove?

 

Cesario: It is not my place to judge the actions of those higher than me.

 

Orsino: I am not higher than you, boy. We are of a level. We are equal. I would know your thoughts as readily as if they were my own. Speak your mind.

 

Cesario: Then, I do not see how your mercy could be without cause. Not if, as you say, it will ease the hearts of those dearest to you. I think, if you are conflicted enough to consider pardoning him, the desires of those that you love, who love the condemned man, should serve as cause enough.

 

Orsino: Thank you. I will continue to think on it. Heaven knows I have done nothing but, these past months. Now come, boy, into the house. Enough of this melancholy talk. Let us have happiness again.

 

_ Exeunt. _

 

\-----

_ MARIA and SIR TOBY’s sitting room. _

 

_ Enter MARIA with JULIA. _

 

Julia: I do apologize for barging in on you like this. You must find me almost insufferably crude.

 

Maria: Not at all. I am always glad to meet an old friend of my husband’s. How long ago did you say you knew him?

 

Julia: It was nearly a decade ago that we saw each other last, I believe.

 

Maria: Such a long time! You must have been just in your prime then.

 

Julia: I can see why he married you. He always enjoyed a woman with a good wit to her. We both did.

 

Maria: Do you not still?

 

Julia: Alas, my enjoyments are no longer my own.

 

Maria: You are married?

 

Julia: I am, yes. Three months past.

 

Maria: Congratulations.

 

Julia: Thank you. So you mustn’t fear me, my girl. I will not call in my claims on your man, I assure you. That is not why I have come.

 

Maria: Then why have you come?

 

Julia: And blunt, too! Simply put - I wish to befriend the woman who tamed Toby long enough to trap him into wedlock.

 

Maria: And you would start by accusing me of trapping him?

 

Julia: Oh, you mustn’t take offense! I meant it purely as a compliment. Toby could never love a woman who wasn’t capable of trapping him, whether or not the situation played out that way.

 

Maria: I see.

 

Julia: Now, I fully intend to befriend you, my girl, and it will be so much easier if you agree to play along. Will you cooperate?

 

Maria: I don’t think I have a great deal of say in the matter, do I?

 

Julia: Excellent! You understand me perfectly. I am currently staying at the Elephant. You will join me there for lunch as the next step in our friendship. Are you free two days from now?

 

Maria: That can be arranged.

 

Julia: Marvelous. I must be going now, but I shall see you in two days, my friend.

 

_ Exit JULIA. _

 

Maria: I cannot tell whether I am charmed or concerned. Perhaps further acquaintance will help clarify the matter.

 

_ Exit MARIA. _

 

\-----

_ ANTONIO’s cell. _

 

_ Enter MALVOLIO. _

 

Malvolio: Are you Antonio?

 

Antonio: I am. Who are you?

 

Malvolio: I am called Sir Malcolm Littlebury, but that is not my true name. My name, good sir, is Malvolio.

 

Antonio: I have heard it before.

 

Malvolio: And you know my story.

 

Antonio: Enough to know that you were roughly used, sir. What brings you to my cell?

 

Malvolio: I bring a proposal, sir, that may benefit us both. ‘Twill bring us both the justice we deserve. Are you willing to listen?

 

Antonio: Speak.

 

Malvolio: The punishment given me by my lady’s kinsman, Sir Toby Belch, and his followers, was much out of proportion with my slights against them, and through my own desires they have remained as yet unanswered. And you, sir, according to all who will speak of such things, are also to face a too-cruel punishment. I propose a switch - we shall deflect the blow of the law from you, and onto the backs of those that truly deserve it.

 

Antonio: I am a simple man, sir, and your words confuse me.

 

Malvolio: I will speak plainly, then. I believe that it is well within my power to extract from Sir Toby a confession, one that would implicate him as the true culprit of your naval crimes. With such a confession at hand, Sir Toby would become the tenant under this roof, and you would be free to seek lodging in a more reputable part of town.

 

Antonio: You would have me perjure myself.

 

Malvolio: I would have you right a wrong! I would have you right many wrongs. I have spoken with many who knew you, Antonio, once your time in Illyria had passed. You are a good man; all say so, and I believe it. Whatever you have done you have paid for by your own hand. You live in voluntary poverty, away from your beloved homeland, and by all accounts you have had no friends before a certain shipwreck delivered one to your door. You have suffered, every moment since Titus’ death - do not deny it, you could not have done else. Your death would not purge the world of a sinner, but of a reformed man.

 

Antonio: You know much. But why involve me in this plot at all? Why did you delay your abusers’ punishment these past months, when you could have had retribution immediately?

 

Malvolio: It would not have been enough. They would have been exiled, or fined, or received some other slap on the wrist due to their impending relationship to the Duke.

 

Antonio: And you believe these men, and a woman too, deserve to die?

 

Malvolio: They tortured an innocent man, for a few rude comments and a disposition they did not favor. Locked him in a room, forbade him light, food, and any means of communication save what they controlled. One imitated a parson, who came to me and declared me insane for my behaviors. And worse than that.

 

Antonio: What could be worse than that?

 

Malvolio: They made me believe I was loved. I was spoon-fed the knowledge that my stars were about to change, that I could achieve that which I had scarcely dared dream of before. And when I took the chance that I believed existed, I was slapped to the ground again, left bruised and bleeding and blind in the dark. You have been loved, Antonio, have you not? One that was only ended by death, and one you have mourned these past five years. Can you imagine yourself, sure in the knowledge of his love for you, suddenly faced with the fact that it was all a lie? That it was manufactured by others, solely for your torment, and he never knew of it and never thought of you twice.

 

Antonio: Enough. You have made your point. You have been ill-used, and have every right to seek what revenge you will. But I am what I am called, in spirit if not in detail. I have never pirated, nor stolen, but I did turn traitor against Illyria, and I did board a ship and turn it against its fellows. I deserve what is decreed for me; by the letter of the law, I must own my punishment. I cannot deny that.

 

Malvolio: And I say again, you have served your punishment! To kill you now would do nothing, nothing to alter the past. All it would do would harm those who love you.

 

Antonio: None love me.

 

Malvolio: That is not what I have heard. I am told that the good Duke and my lady’s husband have had several public fights over your fate, and that at the mention of your name the lord Sebastian goes pale with fear and worry.

 

Antonio: He is one man. He will soon heal.

 

Malvolio: He need never be hurt at all.

 

Antonio: You ask too much of me.

 

Malvolio: Perhaps. Will you do it?

 

Antonio: Yes.

 

Malvolio: Thank you. All will turn out for the best. You have my word.

 

Antonio: May your word be good, then.

 

Malvolio: I will come again once I have what we need. Again, thank you.

 

_ Exit MALVOLIO _ .

 

\-----

_ ORSINO’s sitting room. _

 

_ Enter ORSINO, VIOLA, SEBASTIAN, and OLIVIA. _

 

Olivia: Dinner was splendid. I haven’t eaten that well in well over a year.

 

Orsino: What was the occasion?

 

Olivia: ‘Twas my brother’s birthday, as I recall. The last one he would have, as it happens, but by far the most splendid.

 

Orsino: I am glad to have made you think upon that day with joy, then, rather than eternal grief.

 

Olivia: And I am glad to think of it so. I feared I would never be able to remember him without weeping, but in recent months I have found my pain lessening.

 

Viola: Such is the way with grief. When my father died, I could not address my brother without weeping, for they shared a name. It was only through the passage of time that Sebastian’s name no longer felt like a knife through my heart. We were thirteen when he passed; by our fifteenth year we could reminisce with smiles.

 

Sebastian: So too, my love, will your memories bring you happiness again.

 

Olivia: I shall hold you to that.

 

Orsino: Is that the door I hear? Who could that be at this hour?

 

Viola: I’ll go see to it; we’ve given the servants the night off.

 

Orsino: No, sit, let me go. It is dark, after all, and whoever it is may not mean well.

 

_ Exit ORSINO. _

 

Sebastian: How gallant of him.

 

Olivia: Sebastian!

 

Viola: No, let him get it out now, while my husband cannot hear him.

 

Sebastian: I meant it honestly. Many a man would not have thought of such a thing.

 

Viola: Is your ire lessening, then?

 

Sebastian: No. Yes. Oh, I am so conflicted, I hardly know how I feel. What is said of Antonio is so far from what I know to be true, and yet is said by so many that I cannot help but give it credence.

 

Olivia: Gossip is gossip, my love, and should not be trusted higher than the reports of your own senses.

 

Viola: What is it they say of him? I have done my best not to listen.

 

Sebastian: They say that he is a traitor, Viola. He did not oppose Illyria and Orsino, he betrayed them. I cannot reconcile it with what I know of the man, and yet a guard overheard him swear to be the same man now as he was then. They cannot both be true, and I begin to fear I will never have the truth, for he will not speak to me.

 

Viola: I have a man asking questions about the battle in question. He is seeking testimony from those who were there. I will have you with me, brother, when he makes his report. It may bring you some peace of mind.

 

_ Enter ORSINO, JULIA, and MALVOLIO. _

 

Orsino: May I present the Lady Julia and Sir Malcolm Littlebury.

 

Julia: Oh, no, you have guests! We will absent ourselves at once, and not disrupt your party further.

 

Sebastian: Not at all, my lady. We are not guests, we are family. I am Sebastian, brother to Orsino’s wife, and this is my own wife, Olivia.

 

Olivia: A pleasure to meet you. What brings you so far from town this late at night?

 

Julia: We were on a walk, trying to get the lay of the land, and I’m afraid we got quite lost along the way, didn’t we, dearest?

 

Malvolio: We were wandering a good half-hour before we found a house with the lights still on, where we might ask for directions.

 

Viola: You must be exhausted. Please, sit. I’ll fetch something to warm you.

 

_ Exit VIOLA. _

 

Orsino: Tell us where you are lodging, that we may direct you back.

 

Malvolio: We are staying at the Elephant. I have heard it is the best place to stay.

 

Sebastian: I have heard the same, and in fact fully intended to stay there when I first arrived in Illyria, but circumstances provided me with an alternate bed.

 

Malvolio: May I ask who gave you the recommendation?

 

Sebastian: A dear friend of mine, a sailor called Antonio.

 

_ Enter VIOLA. _

 

Julia: Antonio? I believe I know the man. Antonio of Illyria, who -

 

Orsino: The same. He has returned, and been imprisoned.

 

Julia: Oh, no, how terrible. I knew him briefly, four years ago, and he swore he would never return here.

 

Viola: I’m afraid you have hit upon the sorest subject possible, in this house.

 

Julia: Oh, I am terribly sorry! How clumsy of me.

 

Viola: Not at all. I am astounded at your aim.

 

Malvolio: We should be on our way, my love, before we cause any other inconvenience to our hosts.

 

Orsino: I’ll walk you out, and point out your path back to the Elephant.

 

_ Exeunt ORSINO, JULIA, and MALVOLIO. _

 

Olivia: If I did not know better, I should swear that man’s face is familiar to me.

 

Sebastian: Perhaps he has been a visitor to Illyria before now.

 

Olivia: Perhaps. I think we had better be off ourselves now, husband.

 

Viola: Good night, then. Have a safe journey home. Brother, I will summon you when the report is due.

 

Sebastian: Good night. I shall see you then.

 

Olivia: Give our love to your husband.

 

_ Exit SEBASTIAN and OLIVIA. _

 

_ Enter ORSINO. _

 

Orsino: Have they gone, then?

 

Viola: Slipped away, yes. They give you their love.

 

Orsino: I am sorry Sebastian and I are at odds, my love. It cannot be easy on you.

 

Viola: It is less hard than you might think, and yet more so as well. I can only hope the matter resolves itself soon.

 

Orsino: I pray for the same. Come, to bed now, and rest. It has been a long evening.

 

_ Exeunt. _

 

\-----

_ ANTONIO’s cell. _

 

_ Enter GUARD and FESTE. _

 

Guard: Here is your man. He has not stirred for four days, so I can’t say what you’ll get from him, but here he is.

 

Feste: I have been challenged to make the gloomiest man in Illyria smile. Sir Toby has ten shillings that say I can’t do it. Let us alone, now, I will not be accused of cheating by the presence of another!

 

Guard: I’m not supposed to leave him alone. He’s a dangerous criminal, and the Duke is worried what he’ll do if left alone with a visitor.

 

Antonio: You left the Duke himself alone with me.

 

Guard: Well, he’s the Duke, isn’t he?

 

Feste: Noblemen contradict themselves, and call it nobility. We mortals contradict the noblemen, and we are called fools. Go now, my good man, and there’s a cut of my winnings in it for you.

 

Guard: And what if you do not win?

 

Feste: You insult me, sir, but here’s in advance of my triumph. Go now, you stand between a man and his work.

 

_ Exit GUARD. _

 

Antonio: I fear you are out your money, sir fool. My soul is too black to be lifted these days.

 

Feste: Aye, I expect I am out, but ‘tis not my money I gamble with.

 

Antonio: Whose, then?

 

Feste: It hails from the purse of the gentleman Cesario. Perhaps you know him better as the lady Viola?

 

Antonio: So your coin comes from Orsino? Begone - I’ll have words with no one in his pay.

 

Feste: The gentleman assured me it was out of his own coffer, and so I assure you. The Duke pays for my foolery, not my errandry.

 

Antonio: And what errandry brings you to my purgatorium?

 

Feste: I have been charged with gathering information on a certain battle five years ago.

 

Antonio: The man who charged you may ask the man he serves, if he wishes to know. I swore never to speak of it again.

 

Feste: That will not do - survivor accounts have been requested, sir, and I must have yours in my collection.

 

Antonio: I cannot see how mine will add enough to be worth the effort of telling. Those who still live and remember it, do so well. They have been truthful, I am sure of it.

 

Feste: To a man, they name you the worst sort of villain.

 

Antonio: That is understandable.

 

Feste: A liar, a schemer, a traitor.

 

Antonio: All true.

 

Feste: A kidnapper and a murderer.

 

Antonio: Leave me in peace, man!

 

Feste: I have hit upon a nerve, I think. Every person who was on the high seas that day accuses you of the kidnapping and murder of the Duke’s nephew Titus. You own every accusation leveled at you save those two.

 

Antonio: Guard!

 

Feste: Tell me what happened. You may hate the Duke with every fiber of your being, but you cannot deny that his man is a noble one. Your account will be heard fairly and without bias.

 

Antonio: Guard! Take this man away before I kill him!

 

_ Enter GUARD. _

 

Feste: I will not be the last sent. Too many in Illyria are invested in your life to let this pass.

 

Antonio: They have already sent me a confessor. I will not speak of it again!

 

_ Exit GUARD and FESTE. _

 

\-----

_ The Elephant Inn. _

 

_ Enter MALVOLIO and JULIA. _

 

Julia: Everything is prepared. I bought several bottles of wine this morning, just for the occasion.

 

Malvolio: Excellent. You are ready for your part, my dear?

 

Julia: Don’t insult me, my heart. It shall be done tonight, have no fears. I don’t understand why you insist on being present at all - I am more than capable, and you run the risk of discovery.

 

Malvolio: My disguise was sufficient to fool my lady-that-was, it should be enough for a man in his cups. If he grows suspicious, I shall develop a headache and leave the night in your hands.

 

Julia: Sir Toby is more insightful than he seems. I fear your head will ache before long. Oh, they are here.

 

_ Exit JULIA. _

 

Malvolio: The plot balances on its knifepoint here. Jove, be good, and make all fall out as it should.

 

_ Enter JULIA, MARIA, and TOBY. _

 

Julia: Darling, our guests have arrived! Sir Toby, Maria, may I present my husband, Sir Malcolm.

 

Malvolio: Wonderful to meet you both.

 

Toby: And you, sir, and you. I fear you are the odd man out. Our wives are already acquainted, and I trust you know of my history with the good Lady Julia.

 

Malvolio: She has spoken of it, yes, but it was so long ago that I do not feel on such unequal footing as you might think.

 

Julia: Indeed, you are married now, Sir Toby, a thing which you swore never to do. We may as well be strangers, for such a man as I once knew would never have done such a thing.

 

Maria: And moreover, I feel certain we must have met before, Sir Malcolm. Your voice rings the note of memory in my ears. Did you once visit the lady Olivia, perhaps? I serve her, and we may have met then.

 

Malvolio: That cannot be, for I never met the lady in question until just recently, and it was not at her home. I cannot say that I know your face, either. I do not believe we have met until now.

 

Julia: Come, sit, and I will pour drinks for everyone. I always say that it is not a proper get-together until no one is sober.

 

Toby: I could not agree more, my lady!

 

Maria: No indeed, and you took pains to hasten the process before we arrived.

 

Malvolio: How efficient.

 

Toby: You always had the most excellent taste in liquor, my dear.

 

Julia: I am glad it still suits your palate. After all this time, I feared it might have altered.

 

Toby: Nothing about me alters. I am just as you knew me ten years ago, save that my life is no longer my own to use and abuse as I please.

 

Maria: No indeed, it is not. But try as I might, I have been unable to alter him from even his worst traits.

 

Julia: Have you not? Perhaps I know him still.

 

Toby: Would the knowledge bring you joy?

 

Julia: It is always a comfort to know a friendly face or two in a new setting.

 

Malvolio: I cannot find it believable that one can remain utterly the same one’s entire life. Why, even such a small period as a year can find me nigh unrecognizable to myself; a decade must, by nature, make strangers out of those that were once the best of friends.

 

Toby: Not a jot, good sir, not a jot.

 

Maria: I have known those that have altered their dispositions almost with the changing of the winds, and others who remain steadfast in their ways throughout all happenings. Human nature does not lean one way or the other - rather, it varies, from person to person, I think.

 

Julia: Well put, my girl. Well said indeed. But to return to the point, Sir Toby, I remember you as the worst rascal in Illyria, a rogue of the highest order, who delighted in nothing more than creating mischief and drinking your friends out of house and home. Can it be that you are just as wild now?

 

Malvolio: But Illyria has had wars in the interim, has she not? No man can live through a time of war and come out of it as carefree as he was before.

 

Maria: Speaking of carefree, my love, mightn’t you perhaps slow your drinking a bit? It is not your own that you quaff, after all.

 

Julia: No, no, we mustn’t have that! We shall make a wager, my husband and I. If Sir Toby is as I remember him, you shall buy me a new dress, my heart. If you are right, and time and war have mellowed his ways, you shall have that crisp new suit I saw you eyeing just this morning.

 

Malvolio: Very well. Let us turn to the man himself for an answer. Speak, sir. Is my wife to be victorious, or am I?

 

Toby: Far be it from me to disappoint a woman, especially one so fine and generous as your wife, my man. I am as I have been, and ever will be, and all the wars did was give me a wider stage on which to perform my plays.

 

Julia: Then I am right, and you are rotten?

 

Toby: To the core, my dear. And to prove the point still further, let’s have another cup, shall we?

 

Maria: You have never spoken of your life during wartime, not to me or to anyone within my hearing or knowledge.

 

Toby: ‘Tis nothing so great to speak of. As I say, I merely did then what I do now, but with a wider range.

 

Malvolio: And what is it that you do now?

 

Toby: Why, whatever it is I please! I drink, and eat, and dance, each as the fancy takes me. When I want entertainment and adventure, I take to the streets and theaters, and when I would rather my amusements join me, why, I turn my compatriots into players themselves!

 

Julia: And so you did during the war?

 

Toby: Just so. The right noble Duke, now kinsman to my niece, and my condolences go to her for that, managed to wrangle me onto a boat to serve, but off I hopped back to land, and he was never the wiser!

 

Maria: Are there not entertainments to be had on a ship, dearest, even a warship?

 

Toby: Oh, to be sure, but I had barely begun plumbing their depths when the upper decks became awash with blood. A man who makes merry has an instinct for trouble, and as soon as I smelled it I was away. Let the nobility tear themselves apart, say I, and I shall be there to drink from their flasks when it is over.

 

Julia: There you have it! Surely you can agree, my heart, that a man who speaks so of the horrors of war is not a man who has ever, or could ever, feel seriousness touch his soul.

 

Malvolio: I can no longer deny it. You are right, my love, and we shall purchase your winnings just as soon as the shops open. Another glass for all?

 

Toby: Yes, by heaven!

 

Maria: No, by your wife. I think we had best be gone, Lady Julia. You two will have an early start tomorrow, by the sounds of it, and I think my husband will sleep until luncheon as it is.

 

Julia: Oh, must you?

 

Toby: Must do what the wife wants, eh, Sir Malcolm? Else there’ll be hell to pay.

 

Malvolio: Hmm, perhaps you better had head home. It was lovely to meet you both. Will you need assistance calling a carriage?

 

Maria: Not at all. A good walk would do us both a world of good, I think.

 

Julia: And you must come again soon, my girl. Just as soon as you can.

 

Maria: I’ll do my best. Thank you for your hospitality.

 

_ Exeunt SIR TOBY and MARIA. _

 

Malvolio: Beautiful.

 

Julia: Was it not? An exquisite display of drunkenness, played to perfection.

 

Malvolio: Why, he seems to have been on the very ship in question. In constructing a lie, we may have by chance brushed against the truth, and gained its taint.

 

Julia: Never doubt me again, my heart.

 

Malvolio: I stand in awe of you. Come, let us clear up here and to bed. We’ve a long day tomorrow.

 

Julia: Do we?

 

Malvolio: Indeed, for I must to the Duke’s at once with the news of his newfound kinsman’s betrayal. And of course, we must be up with the sun.

 

Julia: The sun and the shopkeepers?

 

Malvolio: Just so.

 

_ Exeunt. _

 

\-----

_ Orsino’s courtyard. _

 

_ Enter VIOLA and SEBASTIAN. _

 

Viola: The fool should be here shortly. Come, sit by me, and we shall wait.

 

Sebastian: Is it wise, to trust such a man to speak truth to you?

 

Viola: I have never known the man to lie. He is a self-professed corrupter of words, I admit, but I trust him.

 

_ Enter FESTE. _

 

Feste: Good afternoon, fair madam, and sweet sir. I come with the information requested of me.

 

Viola: Sit, and speak.

 

Sebastian: And please, leave off the trills of your profession. Speak the truth, and speak it plainly.

 

Feste: I will do as commanded. I have visited all I know of in Illyria who were physically present at the battle in which the gentleman Titus was injured, and the sailor Antonio left Illyria’s shores for the last time. All give the same account of events. The Duke’s nephew was commanding a ship in his uncle’s navy, the same ship upon which Antonio was serving. An hour into the fighting, the ship pulled its colors and turned its prow towards Illyria. The Duke sent a party to reclaim it. They could not recover the ship, but they did recover Antonio and Titus, less the majority of his left leg and raving. The Duke took them into his cabin. The next anyone saw of them, Titus was dead, the Duke bled from the nose, and Antonio jumped into the water and escaped. He was named an enemy of the state, and a price was put on his head.

 

Viola: No one knows what passed in the Duke’s cabin?

 

Feste: None. Thus ends the factual account of the day.

 

Sebastian: What else remains?

 

Feste: The opinions of the survivors on the matter. To a man, they offered them without question.

 

Viola: Speak, then. We would hear all.

 

Feste: Happily, my lady, I would, but I fear the gentleman here would not thank me for it - he looks barely half-conscious as it is.

 

Sebastian: Speak, damn you, or you shall find how small my thanks can be.

 

Viola: Sit down, Sebastian. He does not speak his own mind, only the minds of others.

 

Feste: Thank you, my lady. It is true that no one I spoke to was present on either ship, the  _ Phoenix _ or the Duke’s vessel, but to a man, all blamed Antonio for the disaster.

 

Sebastian: With what proof?

 

Feste: They offered none but their own impressions. The two men were close in the years preceding the event, I am told, and there was never any love lost between the sailor and the Duke. All believe that Antonio used his influence to steal the  _ Phoenix _ and force the ship around, and then mutilated Titus when he objected. They paint him as the villain of the piece, practically a devil upon the waves.

 

Viola: And what do you believe? You say you were a young man at the time, and remember the day. Do you agree with the accounts given to you?

 

Feste: I did, madam, until I spoke with the man himself.

 

Sebastian: You spoke to Antonio?

 

Feste: I did. My lady requested accounts from all who were there; there is no one living who was closer to the event than the sailor.

 

Sebastian: What did he say?

 

Feste: I put to him the accusations of the other men. He owned them all, without blinking, save two.

 

Viola: Which two?

 

Feste: Why, the kidnap and murder of the Duke’s nephew. When I spoke of those, he grew quite passionate and had me bodily removed from his sight.

 

Sebastian: Nothing about what you say makes him seem innocent.

 

Feste: I make my living reading people, good sir, and feeding them the dish of their choosing. A fool must know a man’s heart before he can make him laugh. I have yet to fail to make a man laugh when I have set my mind to it.

 

Viola: Thank you. Here’s for your pains. I shall summon you when it comes time for the second part of your reward.

 

Feste: Thank you, good lady. And I apologize for bringing news that caused pain to my listeners. It goes thoroughly against my nature.

 

_ Exit FESTE. _

 

Viola: How stands your heart, brother?

 

Sebastian: As confused as ever. I want to believe that Antonio is not the orchestrator of this crime, desperately I do, but I cannot know. Not without speaking to him, without seeing him.

 

Viola: As the Duke’s wife, I cannot condone entering the prison secretly to allay your worries.

 

Sebastian: And as my sister?

 

Viola: As your sister, I have spent some time observing the rotation of the prison guards, and have been eager to discuss certain anomalies. What my brother does after this discussion is no business of mine.

 

_ Exeunt VIOLA and SEBASTIAN. _

 

_ Enter ORSINO from where he has been hidden onstage _ .

 

Orsino: This is almost too much for my too-wracked mind to comprehend. The death of my nephew is burned into my memory, I shall never forget a single detail. The smell of the blood, the cries of his pain, the gasps of his last words. “Antonio,” he cried out. “You must not - Antonio,” pointing thus to the man, still bloodied and soot-blackened in the corner, wild with rage. He spent his last moments naming his killer, begging for justice to be done upon him with his final breaths. So I understood, so I have believed all the years since. It is solid in my mind, I have not forgotten - can it be that I am wrong? Could Titus’ words have been meant for ears other than mine? What I took as a gesture of fear, may have been a reach towards comfort. I do remember now tears in the sailor’s eyes, which I thought from rage - but they might have been grief. And the fool says they were friends - I never saw them together. But I saw Titus rarely as he grew older. Was I so mistaken in my nephew? He could not have hated me enough to turn against me, not without my seeing it. I cannot imagine it. And yet, it may be true.

 

_ Enter MALVOLIO _ .

 

Orsino: Who is there? Oh, Sir Malcolm - forgive me, but this is not a good time for visitors.

 

Malvolio: I come not on a social call, my lord, but one of business. I have news for your ears only, news concerning the prisoner Antonio.

 

Orsino: Of course you do. Nothing could avoid concerning him now, it seems. Tell me your news, then.

 

Malvolio: ‘Tis not fit for the open air, my lord.

 

Orsino: I see. Step inside the house, then.

 

_ Exeunt. _

 

\-----

_ OLIVIA and SEBASTIAN’s sitting room. _

 

_ Enter OLIVIA and SEBASTIAN. OLIVIA sits, while SEBASTIAN paces. _

 

Olivia: Sit down, my love.

 

Sebastian: I cannot sit. It is too beautiful a day for sitting.

 

Olivia: It is pouring rain. There has been no sun since the morning; do you call such a day beautiful?

 

Sebastian: I do. A day needs not the sun to be beautiful, as a woman needs not fair hair nor a man a strong jaw to be counted attractive. A day that rains can be a day that is fair, in my mind, and today is such a one.

 

Olivia: I am happy to hear that the weather does not dampen your spirits. Still, sit, my love. I have something I must tell you.

 

_ SEBASTIAN sits. _

 

Sebastian: Is something amiss?

 

Olivia: Quite the opposite. I spoke with the doctor yesterday morning, while you were making your daily assault on Illyria’s prisons.

 

Sebastian: Your words do not ease my mind, yet you begin to smile. What did you speak of?

 

Olivia: The child that we are to have.

 

Sebastian: It is too soon yet to be concerned, surely. We have been married less than a year; it is not so uncommon.

 

Olivia: You misunderstand. We spoke of the child that I shall have in some seven months’ time.

 

Sebastian: Oh. Oh!

 

_ He kisses her. _

  
Sebastian: Are you certain? No, forgive me, of course you are. Seven months! Are you pleased?

 

Olivia: I expected happiness, my love. I could never have guessed how high it would fly at this news.

 

Sebastian: Joy indeed! Seven months. There is much to do in that seven months.

 

Olivia: Indeed. Chiefest among them, I think, is the matter of this house. It will not do for a child.

 

Sebastian: Are you certain? This is your home, after all.

 

Olivia: Here my brother died, and here my father also. If it were the safest house for a child ever built in the world, I should leave it before bringing new life into it.

 

Sebastian: The choice is yours. We shall find a new place to call our own. I will begin looking immediately.

 

Olivia: I have already done so, but lacked a piece of information that would have made the search fruitful.

 

Sebastian: What piece is that? Is the number of children in question? Are we to have twins, or more?

 

Olivia: No, no. It will be one child, as near as the doctor can tell. No, I wondered merely if your Antonio preferred a sleeping-place on the ground, or one rather higher up.

 

Sebastian: I - you baffle me again, my love. What are you saying?

 

Olivia: I am saying, Sebastian, that I do not expect this child to be the only addition to our family. Antonio’s fate will be decided ere long, and we must begin to prepare for that as well.

 

Sebastian: Would you - you would have him live here, then?

 

Olivia: Of course. It will be difficult for your affair to continue if he lives elsewhere. I will not have him share a bed with me, nor, I think, would he relish such a thing, and so the question of his preferences in bedroom must be raised.

 

Sebastian: You have misunderstood the situation entirely. There has been no affair, I have broken none of my vows to you -

 

Olivia: It is you who misunderstand, my dearest, kindest Sebastian. I do not condemn you. I have seen the heaviness of your brow increase since we married, though I know you love me. And, although such times have of necessity been brief, I have seen you and Antonio together. You have kept to the letter of your vows to me, and I love you for it, but your sailor, I think, stands rather outside their purview, having come into your heart before you came into my eye. I would have you happy, my love, and so I would have Antonio in our home and in your arms. Tell me truly, is this counter to your own wishes?

 

Sebastian: Not at all, it runs perfectly parallel with them. I could never have dared to ask for such a thing, and yet you give it freely?

 

Olivia: Freely and without hesitation. All that remains is to gain Antonio’s approval, and that will not be overly difficult.

 

Sebastian: You are very certain. I myself am not so sure he will welcome this proposal.

 

Olivia: I have broken words with him on the matter, though he knows it not. Come, my love, and I will tell you of it.

 

_ Exeunt. _

 

\-----

_ MARIA and SIR TOBY’s sitting room. _

 

_ Enter JULIA and MARIA. _

 

Julia: We have spent much time together in recent days, my girl, and still you refuse to tell me how our dear Toby finally succumbed to the yoke of matrimony. I will have it out of you, believe me. Why do you continue to resist me?

 

Maria: Indeed, I have come to have much faith in your ability to shape the world to your will, Lady Julia. I fear I am no longer able to keep my silence.

 

Julia: And what, pray tell, has until now kept you mum?

 

Maria: To be honest, the circumstances of my marriage to my husband are not without an element of shame.

 

Julia: A scandal! How delightful. Tell me everything at once.

 

Maria: Our affections had been well-known to each other for some time before we wed; indeed, we behaved as though we were already married. My lady his niece allowed the dalliance, as she thought it, and I was satisfied with our arrangements.

 

Julia: Sir Toby has that way about him, to give women only as much as he wants and make them feel satisfied. He was already well practiced in the art when I knew him.

 

Maria: He married me in recompense for a service I did him. I could try to romanticize it, I suppose, but there it is. Our marriage was a payment, from him to myself.

 

Julia: What service, if I may ask?

 

Maria: If I say you may not ask, will that stop you?

 

Julia: Not a whit, my girl. You’re catching on.

 

Maria: We had a certain enemy. The steward of my lady, as uptight and stuffish a fellow as ever lived. He openly despised Toby, and heartily disapproved of me for associating with such a rogue, and Toby and I returned the feelings in full.

 

Julia: And you took your vengeance upon this fellow, I take it?

 

Maria: A delightfully twisty plot, of my own invention. I dropped certain hints and letters around him, sufficient to convince him of my lady’s deep passion for him, and that she wished him to act a certain way to prove his devotion. When he acted on the instructions in the letter, we and two others he had wronged had him convicted of madness and isolated. So successful were we that Toby married me the next day.

 

Julia: It sounds as though you were revenged in full, and then some. What became of the man?

 

Maria: He managed to wriggle free of his bonds and fled, swearing bloody justice upon the lot of us. We have not seen or heard from him since, though we have looked. My lady was furious - I thought I was to be let go, and my husband thrown from Illyria, but something stayed her hand. We know not what.

 

Julia: Such a story, my girl. I shall remember never to anger you, lest I find my hair shorn and my feet bare.

 

Maria: I doubt there is anything you could do that would anger me quite as much as that man did. Oh, you are out of tea, shall I fetch you some more?

 

Julia: I would appreciate it, thank you.

 

_ Exit MARIA. _

 

Julia: What a smirking, self-satisfied, cruel woman. I like her immensely, I find. How inconvenient, for I love my husband more. It will be a shame to see her destroyed. I myself remember well what it is to love Toby and convince myself that what he was willing to give me, I was satisfied with. Had the situation arisen when I was with him, I might have done as much and more than her, if I thought it would entice him into matrimony. Had my husband not come to my door with a proposition to wrong him who had wronged me, and I returned to Illyria of my own initiative, I might have been as fond of her as I was of Toby, in time. But my husband needs me, and much to my surprise, I find I need him as well.

 

_ Enter MARIA. _

 

Maria: This is terribly embarrassing, but I seem to have overloaded the tray and cannot carry it all myself. Would you be so kind?

 

Julia: Of course, my girl. Lead the way.

 

_ Exeunt. _

 

\-----

_ ANTONIO’s cell. _

 

_ Enter SEBASTIAN. _

 

Sebastian: At last.

 

Antonio: Sebastian! What are you doing here? I am not allowed visitors.

 

Sebastian: The fool Feste is distracting a guard. I stole the keys and snuck in. I have been to half a dozen cells in search of you.

 

Antonio: You should not be here. Breaking into a prison is a crime. I would not have you in the next cell over, not for the world.

 

Sebastian: I would rather be in here with you than out there in the world, my friend.

 

Antonio: Never say that. The thought of you, happy and prosperous, is the only thing keeping me going. Do not take my one comfort from me.

 

Sebastian: You are not going to die. I will not let you. Whatever you have done, whatever crimes you have committed, they cannot be worth your death. Justice will not allow a good man to die, whatever the past, and nor will I.

 

Antonio: I am not a good man, Sebastian. I have committed treason. I am Orsino’s enemy. He has every right to put me through this.

 

Sebastian: I don’t care. I thought I did, but seeing you, I find that I care not at all for what you have done. I want you out of here. I want you home.

 

Antonio: Perhaps I may yet go home. My little house waits for me. I shudder to think of the state of my nets.

 

Sebastian: No. No, Antonio, home with me. I cannot be without you and I cannot leave Illyria now that I am married . I need you, Antonio, and so you must stay with me.

 

Antonio: You no longer need me, Sebastian. You have your wife, your sister, you do not need a minder any longer.

 

Sebastian: Is that how you think of it? Of us, of what we were? A minder and his charge? Such a change of tune from your open declarations of love. Can prison and a little time so change a man’s heart?

 

Antonio: It is how I need to think of it, now that a separation is upon us. If I am to take my leave of you, towards death or home, I cannot love you as I have done.

 

Sebastian: There will be no separation! Why are you not listening? You will not part from me. Not unless you wish it, and I know you do not.

 

Antonio: What am I to do, then? Suppose I am set free. Am I to live in your home, watch you with your wife, live as the poor friend in the rich man’s home? No, Sebastian, that is beyond me. I cannot live with you at a distance. To walk out of this prison alive but deny my feelings is more than I can bear. If I go free, I go home.

 

Sebastian: You are not listening to me -

 

Antonio: I cannot bear to! Please, Sebastian, please leave me.

 

Sebastian: Not until you understand what I say -

 

Antonio: I do understand. Now you must understand, I cannot hear it. Not now.

 

Sebastian: I will take my leave of you, then. But this conversation is not over, merely postponed until you are better able to have it. Farewell, my dearest Antonio, until we meet again.

 

_ Exit SEBASTIAN. _

 

\-----

_ The dwelling-place of FESTE. _

 

_ Enter MALVOLIO. _

 

Malvolio: Here is where the fool lives now, I am told. Such a large step down from his rooms in my lady’s home. I begged her to keep him on, so that he might have been where I left him when I returned, but it seems she could not be moved that far. Her affections were with me too much for my preferences, upon finding them too little for my hopes. Still, luck is with me, and he dwells yet where I might reach him. I hear him approach.

 

_ Enter FESTE. _

 

Malvolio: Greetings, good fool.

 

Feste: And to you, kind sir! What brings you to this rogue’s humble dwelling, unannounced and in the dark as you are?

 

Malvolio: We have business, Feste, that I mean to finish.

 

Feste: Do we? Indeed, as you bring your face into the light I do feel some stirrings of recognition, but I cannot place you. Pray, tell me who you are, and how I might best serve you.

 

Malvolio: I am called Sir Malcolm by those I meet.

 

Feste: And so you may be, but I’ll warrant that is not the name you call yourself.

 

Malvolio: Can it be that a few months’ distance and a new-grown beard is enough to render me unrecognizable by those that once saw me daily? I am that fellow, good fool, that once begged you for aid from a plot that you yourself helped to concoct.

 

Feste: Master Malvolio! So you have come to have your revenge upon us at last. We searched for you, Sir Toby and I, but could find no trace of you.

 

Malvolio: I hid myself well, and procured a helpmeet to erase what traces I could not on my own. I have come to settle the score that still hangs between us.

 

_ MALVOLIO begins to slash at FESTE. FESTE dodges and deflects each blow. _

 

Feste: So you have, for I see the glint of a knife in your hand. You mean to slit my throat in the dark. You may be successful in it, but I am obligated to warn you that you will not find Sir Toby so easily subdued. I may be a humble fool, but he is a tested fighter, and will note my absence from this world ere long.

 

Malvolio: I shall not wield the blade that takes Sir Toby from his life. I have another plan in motion to deal with him, once so far along its track that neither you nor I could stop it now.

 

Feste: How clever of you, good Master Malvolio. I see your wits have all returned to you.

 

Malvolio: Does your foolery extend so far towards ignorance, to taunt the man that wields a knife thirsty for your blood?

 

Feste: Not towards ignorance at all, sir, but towards distraction. You say I cannot save Sir Toby, and that may be so, though I will try. Think you a man such as me is so easily hoodwinked? The more fool you, then.

 

_ FESTE makes for the exit. MALVOLIO catches and stabs him. _

 

Malvolio: ‘Tis your turn, sirrah, to fall beside your five wits.

 

_ FESTE dies. _

 

Malvolio: Where are the jokes now, good Feste, that once slipped so effortlessly from your tongue? I am sure you have a song for such an occasion - why do you not sing it? Have I so easily silenced you? ‘Tis not what I imagined, I confess. There is more blood, for a start. I am stained with it, and yet, I find I am not sanguine. Your blank face, staring up at me, does bring no easiness to my heart. I would you had died with a smile, for that may have helped. Your corpse bears no resemblance to the living body.

 

_ A clock chimes. _

 

Malvolio: There is no time for such things. I shall send you a compatriot anon.

 

_ Exit. _

 

\-----

_ The courtroom. _

 

_ Enter JUDGE, GUARDS, and ANTONIO. _

 

_ Enter ORSINO, CESARIO, MALVOLIO, OLIVIA, and SEBASTIAN. _

 

Judge: Thus begins the trial of Antonio, formerly of Illyria. The charges against him are: That he did knowingly turn traitor against Illyria and the Duke Orsino; that he did knowingly commandeer a ship and board another, turning both to the service of Illyria’s enemies; that he did kidnap or otherwise incapacitate the commander of the ship  _ Phoenix _ ; that he did maim to the point of death the same man, the nephew of the Duke Orsino; and that he did unlawfully leave Illyria’s domain as a wanted man. Do you understand the charges laid against you?

 

Antonio: I do.

 

Judge: Good. The Duke has requested to make a statement prior to the questioning of the prisoner.

 

Orsino: My good judge, very recently information has come to my attention that may change the court’s, and my own, understanding of the events in question. I request that Sir Toby Belch, kinsman to my dear sister Olivia, and his wife be summoned.

 

Judge: As you wish.

 

_ Exit GUARD 1. _

 

Sebastian: What means this? What is going on?

 

Olivia: Hush, my love. We shall soon see.

 

Sebastian: It must be something large, to have shaken Orsino’s certainty. And concerning your uncle. Are you not concerned?

 

Olivia: He is my blood, and I wish him well for that alone. But he has long been a scoundrel, and I would not be surprised if he came to a bad end because of it.

 

_ Re-enter GUARD 1 with SIR TOBY and MARIA. _

 

Guard 1: They had been warned somehow, your honor, but their path out of the city brought them too close to escape our reach. They were arrested not an hour past by the Duke’s men.

 

Toby: Unhand me, man! I have been detained without cause, and my wife dragged alongside me. This is unconscionable!

 

Judge: Hold your tongue, Sir Toby. Sit them down by the prisoner, guards. My lord, the floor is yours.

 

Orsino: Two days ago this gentleman, Sir Malcolm, came to my door and informed me of some very concerning comments he overheard spoken by Sir Toby Belch. Sir Malcolm, will you tell the court what you told me?

 

Malvolio: Certainly, my lord. I and my wife invited Sir Toby and his wife to our lodgings three nights ago. He is an old acquaintance of my wife’s, and we are otherwise without friends in this city. He arrived fully in his cups already, and confessed to us that he had been present at the battle in which the Duke’s nephew was lost. Indeed, I came to believe that he was on the very ship in question, the  _ Phoenix _ , during the event. He boasted that he had smelled trouble brewing, and had left as quickly as possible, shirking his duty for the entertainment to be found on shore. It struck me as unlikely that, lurking below decks as he claims to have been, he could have been aware of the shifting politics above, and I feared he may have had prior knowledge of the event.

 

Orsino: Sir Malcolm brought his concerns to me the next day. I have spent the time since confirming that indeed, Sir Toby was assigned to the  _ Phoenix _ , and that none saw him after the ship had been afloat for an hour. It is now my belief that Sir Toby, and not the sailor Antonio, sparked the rebellion aboard the ship, and left before he was swept up in the blood and battle.

 

Judge: Have you any other reason for thinking this, my lord, save the knowledge of his presence and subsequent absence?

 

Malvolio: “Let the nobility tear themselves apart, and I shall be there to drink from their flasks when it is over.” Such and more did Sir Toby say to my wife and myself.

 

Orsino: And surely all remember the affair of the steward Malvolio. I recall, over our acquaintance, one or two small slights I have given to Sir Toby, and given the overreaction of Sir Toby to the steward’s poor manners, I cannot find it improbable that the same man attempted to take his revenge upon me in a similar fashion.

 

Toby: Malvolio. That the sniveling coward Malvolio should be my undoing! I will not stand for it!

 

Judge: Silence, sir, or you shall be gagged! Can anyone confirm that Sir Toby said such things?

 

Malvolio: My wife was present, as was his. Shall I summon the Lady Julia?

 

Judge: That may not be necessary, for his own wife is here already. Did you hear your husband speak so?

 

Maria: I - that is, he did say so, yes. All is as Sir Malcolm described. But ‘twas not maliciously meant, sir, I promise you! My husband confessed to dereliction of duty, not treason!

 

Sebastian: Sir Judge, you cannot now believe that Antonio is the man he has been painted to be. I will speak to his character, under oath I will swear that he is a good and innocent man!

 

Toby: I am being framed, my lords -

 

Judge: Enough! Gag Sir Toby, guards, and escort the lord Sebastian from the room.

 

_ Exeunt SEBASTIAN and OLIVIA. _

 

Judge: You shake the foundations of this trial, all of you, with accusations that cannot be sufficiently proven.

 

Malvolio: With respect, sir, there is one in this room who would know the truth of the affair better than any of us, and he kneels in front of you now.

 

Judge: Antonio. I charge you to answer truly and in full all questions put to you. Do you agree?

 

Antonio: I do.

 

Judge: Did you participate in the treason aboard the  _ Phoenix _ five years ago?

 

Antonio: I did.

 

Judge: Did you also board the  _ Tiger _ and turn her sails as well?

 

Antonio: I did.

 

Judge: Were you the originator of the plot? Speak, man.

 

Antonio: I was not.

 

Judge: Was the originator of the plot one Sir Toby, seated to your left? Again, I charge you speak. Your silence will condemn you and your answers will bring you no harm, I assure you.

 

Antonio: I swore an oath on the day never to name the plot’s leader. All I can say is that it was a nobleman, a gentleman.

 

Judge: I charged you to speak fully, man. What is the name of he who set you on to treason?

 

Antonio: I swore an oath before God, sir! You ask me to condemn my soul to save my own wretched life, a bargain not worth the breath it takes to describe.

 

Malvolio: My lord, surely this is enough? You need not cause him to break his word. He has not denied that it was Sir Toby who set him on, when to do so would not name him who was responsible, and so cause the sailor to break his word.

 

Judge: You make a good point, Sir Malcolm. Are there any here, save the man himself or his wife, who will speak to defend Sir Toby from the accusations put to him?

 

Olivia: It falls to me to speak, my lord, but I find I cannot say anything that would help him. It is true, he did torture my previous steward, a vast overreaction to a minor sin. And he has been a drunk and a villain all my life. I do not know the facts, good judge, but I can only say that were it true, it would not be out of character.

 

Judge: I am satisfied. Sir Toby Belch, I condemn you for treason against the Duke and against Illyria, and sentence you to -

 

Antonio: Hold.

 

Judge: Who speaks?

 

Antonio: I do, noble judge. I can no longer hold my silence, and I must break my oath, now that I may save another’s life instead of my own. I do not say an innocent man, for I took no notice of him aboard the  _ Phoenix _ , and if he was indeed stationed there, he must have abandoned his post, for I saw every man’s face who was aboard when we turned. But innocent or not, I will not have further bloodshed upon my hands. He is not the man who induced me to treason.

 

Judge: And will you now speak the man’s name?

 

Antonio: I will, my lord, though it kills me to do so. ‘Twas Titus himself who originated the plot.

 

Orsino: You lie.

 

Antonio: I do not, sir.

 

Judge: Silence. Explain yourself, Antonio.

 

Antonio: I can say no more than I have said. The Duke knows well that Titus and I met some eight years ago, and were close friends until his death. Titus never spoke of it, but I saw his love for his uncle curdle and turn to hate over those three years; why, he never said, and I never asked. Finally, the morning we went aboard the  _ Phoenix _ , he told me that he had been in dialogue with the opposing admiral, and was going to turn traitor against his uncle.

 

Judge: And you followed him?

 

Antonio: I would have followed him into hell, my lord. As indeed I did, that day, and every day since. He lost his leg in the battle over the  _ Tiger _ , and I surrendered us to the Duke’s men, in order that he might live. Before the surgeon could arrive, he had died.

 

Judge: Why did you assault the Duke and flee?   
  


Antonio: The Duke had drawn his sword upon me to keep me from Titus during his last moments, and I was desperate to get to him. I blacked Orsino’s eye in the process. I confess I do not remember fleeing - I remember Titus’ face as he died, and then I remember washing ashore on the island that would become my home. Nothing in between remains.

 

Judge: Very well. I will draw this farce of a legal proceeding to a close. Sir Toby Belch, I condemn you for dereliction of duty, the penalty for which is five lashes and exile. Guards, take him away and administer the punishment.

 

_ Exit GUARDS 1 and 2 with SIR TOBY and MARIA. _

 

Judge: As for Antonio -

 

Orsino: If I may, my lord judge.

 

Judge: Am I never to finish a sentence today? As you will, sir.

 

Orsino: I hereby drop the charges I laid against the sailor Antonio, and request that he be granted his freedom immediately.

 

Antonio: What?

 

Orsino: I cannot say that I know why my nephew betrayed me, though the thought of it will keep me up many nights to come, I am sure. But I do know that, while I was not wrong about Antonio’s actions, I was wrong about his character. In receipt of his honesty now, and his loyalty to my nephew’s memory, I petition the court to release him.

 

Judge: The charges against the sailor Antonio have been dropped. There is no reason now for him to be held in custody. Unchain his hands, guard, and let us be done with it.

 

Orsino: I will take myself home now. Join me, Cesario. I have much to think about, and I would have your counsel.

 

Cesario: I will join you.

 

_ Exeunt JUDGE, GUARD 3, ORSINO, and CESARIO. _

 

Antonio: I am sorry, sir, that I could not keep my side of our arrangement.

 

Malvolio: You kept it well enough. I have had my revenge; not as much as I wished for, true, but more than I would have had, had I not waited. I am glad you have kept your soul intact. Someone in this godforsaken country should have some honesty.

 

_ Enter LADY JULIA. _

 

Julia: My heart, I came as soon as I heard. Sir Toby is to be whipped?

 

Malvolio: And exiled, yes. I have done all I can, and the matter is beyond my influence now. I find I am satisfied. We owe it to this man.

 

Julia: Thank you, sir. If you are satisfied, husband, so am I. Shall we return to our home, then, and leave these shores far behind us?

 

Malvolio: I am glad to hear you call it our home.

 

Julia: Did you doubt I would?

 

Malvolio: I feared that once Sir Toby had been dealt with, you would have no further use for me.

 

Julia: You are a fool, then. I confess love was not expected upon our marriage, but we have found our way there, have we not?

 

Malvolio: And we shall find our way home. Thank you again, good sailor, for your help. I wish you all the happiness you can find.

 

Antonio: And to you, sir.

 

_ Exeunt MALVOLIO and LADY JULIA. _

 

_ Enter SEBASTIAN and OLIVIA. _

 

Sebastian: Antonio!

 

_ SEBASTIAN runs to ANTONIO and kisses him. _

 

Sebastian: You are free, then?

 

Antonio: I - I am, yes. The Duke dropped the charges against me.

 

Olivia: Then you will return with us at once. I shall send men to your old home for anything you left behind.

 

Antonio: I do not understand.

 

Sebastian: That is because you would not listen when I tried to tell you.

 

Olivia: ‘Twas I who stood in the robes of a priest and heard your confession upon your arrest, Antonio, and for that deception, I apologize. You have suffered long enough, I warrant, and you shall have peace now, if I have anything to say about it.

 

Sebastian: She broke the seal of confession as well and told me of what you spoke. Not of the battle, but of your feelings, and the reasons for your reticence, which are more important to my mind and heart than anything. You must forgive her that as well, for it has given me much enlightenment. You will not be taken from my side now, Antonio, not unless you wish to be.

 

Antonio: I do not, and never shall. But is this truly what you want? You are married, after all.

 

Sebastian: Orsino is married to both woman and man; why then should I not be as well? I do not make vows I don’t intend to keep, Antonio, and I vow that I shall have you for as long as you would have me.

 

Olivia: I love my husband, and cannot hold against any who do the same. I would have you show me how to love him, for I have not been at the practice long, having married him when I thought him another.

 

Antonio: You are willing to share your husband with another?

 

Sebastian: I came to love my wife without a single decrease in my love for you. Nothing is lessened; everything is gained.

 

Olivia: Will you return with us?

 

_ ANTONIO kisses SEBASTIAN. _

 

Antonio: I will.

 

_ Exeunt. _

**Author's Note:**

> The genderfluid character is Viola, who sometimes presents as Viola and sometimes as Cesario. There is no backlash to this from anyone.
> 
> The original character is Lady Julia; you didn't forget her from the original play. I made her up. (Incidentally, I fully forgot about Sir Andrew until five-sixths of the way through the semester, when someone asked about him. I decided that he cut his losses and ran away with Fabian.)
> 
> The minor character death is Feste.


End file.
